Saturday, March 04, 2006
Never Argue With A Fool
"Never argue with a fool; They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience!" How true that saying is. How unfortunate that most fools think they know it all; How unfortunate that since they believe they know it all, most fools are stubborn as hell; And how unfortunate indeed that our world seems to be immensely over-populated with class-A fools!
How unfortuante indeed.
How unfortuante indeed.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
An Epiphany and A Cheese Sandwich
This morning, around 5 am, I woke up with a revelation.
A revelation beyond all revelations. An epiphany; A divination; A vision. The truth manifested itself before me, and I was born again! Well, maybe not, but it was pretty strange!
In my dream, I was handed a book. And without opening this book, I instantly gathered the essence of its message, of what it was telling. My eyes popped open, I was wide awake, and for reasons I could not grasp I just knew I had to write this message down before it escaped me.
Was it a strangely vivid dream? Was it just my brain coming up with ideas in my sleep? I don't know, but what I do know is that, at 5 am, this seemed pretty big! Before my sleep filled eyes I was being handed an oscar, a grammy, a nobel prize for all categories rolled into one, a cheese sandwich. I dont know where the cheese sandwich fitted in, maybe I was hungry.
Point is, this is MY idea. I've got a law degree, so if any idea-stealing person decides to steal this here idea which I am about to reveal to you, I shall personally hunt him (or her) down, squeeze them till their eyes pop out, then sue them and take everything they have. Simple as that.
Last night, it was revealed to me why so many tragedies and disasters are raining down upon us now. The answer, my dears, is....SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST. Yes, a theory that has been put forth many times, but not this way.... listen closely.
As a race, we have become so dependant on oil. Oil for everything. From washing our clothes, to cooking our food, to electricity, to communication, to transportation. Ok look, I'm not a scientist, but I do know that we have evolved into beings that would be unable to survive at our present state without oil. Oil is running out. Countries are blowing other countries up for their oil-look at Iraq. Oil hungry Americans stealing all their oil. Point is, in another decade or so, we will have nearly run out of all oil reserves. In another 50 years who's to know what's to become of us?? These disasters are the worlds way, our way, to ensure that less people will have to deal with this ultimate crisis that we will be facing in the not so distant future. It's the earths way of ensuring only the fittest survive. That, at the end, only those who are able to live without being dependant on oil will survive. Our only hope for survival is to come up with alternative fuels. Yes, you know that already. But these disasters are the earths way of telling us again. Its way of drilling the point into our brains. I was given the answer, now spread the word my messengers, spread the word.
Strangely enough...this sounded ALOT better at 5 am!
A revelation beyond all revelations. An epiphany; A divination; A vision. The truth manifested itself before me, and I was born again! Well, maybe not, but it was pretty strange!
In my dream, I was handed a book. And without opening this book, I instantly gathered the essence of its message, of what it was telling. My eyes popped open, I was wide awake, and for reasons I could not grasp I just knew I had to write this message down before it escaped me.
Was it a strangely vivid dream? Was it just my brain coming up with ideas in my sleep? I don't know, but what I do know is that, at 5 am, this seemed pretty big! Before my sleep filled eyes I was being handed an oscar, a grammy, a nobel prize for all categories rolled into one, a cheese sandwich. I dont know where the cheese sandwich fitted in, maybe I was hungry.
Point is, this is MY idea. I've got a law degree, so if any idea-stealing person decides to steal this here idea which I am about to reveal to you, I shall personally hunt him (or her) down, squeeze them till their eyes pop out, then sue them and take everything they have. Simple as that.
Last night, it was revealed to me why so many tragedies and disasters are raining down upon us now. The answer, my dears, is....SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST. Yes, a theory that has been put forth many times, but not this way.... listen closely.
As a race, we have become so dependant on oil. Oil for everything. From washing our clothes, to cooking our food, to electricity, to communication, to transportation. Ok look, I'm not a scientist, but I do know that we have evolved into beings that would be unable to survive at our present state without oil. Oil is running out. Countries are blowing other countries up for their oil-look at Iraq. Oil hungry Americans stealing all their oil. Point is, in another decade or so, we will have nearly run out of all oil reserves. In another 50 years who's to know what's to become of us?? These disasters are the worlds way, our way, to ensure that less people will have to deal with this ultimate crisis that we will be facing in the not so distant future. It's the earths way of ensuring only the fittest survive. That, at the end, only those who are able to live without being dependant on oil will survive. Our only hope for survival is to come up with alternative fuels. Yes, you know that already. But these disasters are the earths way of telling us again. Its way of drilling the point into our brains. I was given the answer, now spread the word my messengers, spread the word.
Strangely enough...this sounded ALOT better at 5 am!
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Don't Piss Off A Giraffe
Some things I've learned today:
A giraffe can kill almost any animal by using its neck and head as a club.
Checking your email every 5 seconds doesnt increase the chances that someone will email you.
Checking your watch every 5 minutes doesnt make time go any faster.
Popeye's four nephews are called Pipeye, Peepeye, Pupeye and Poopeye.
No piece of square, dry paper can be folded more than 7 times in half.
The only 15 letter word that can be spelt without repeating letters is "uncopyrightable".
Drinking water makes you want to pee.
A giraffe can kill almost any animal by using its neck and head as a club.
Checking your email every 5 seconds doesnt increase the chances that someone will email you.
Checking your watch every 5 minutes doesnt make time go any faster.
Popeye's four nephews are called Pipeye, Peepeye, Pupeye and Poopeye.
No piece of square, dry paper can be folded more than 7 times in half.
The only 15 letter word that can be spelt without repeating letters is "uncopyrightable".
Drinking water makes you want to pee.
Monday, February 27, 2006
First Generation American
It's amazing who you meet and what you learn wherever you are. Last night, I went Salsa Dancing with a friend. First time, but I was up there shaking my tail feather with the rest of them! :) Unbelievable fun! This guy and I got talking, and it turned out he was from Houston, Texas. A tall, handsome black guy with a booming voice and a personality to match. He was asking me where I was from, and so on, but when I asked him if both his parents were from Houston, he said no no. haha They're expats. That's it. No elaboration. Nothing. Suffice to say, I knew something wasn't quite right.
Anyhow, he introduced me to this annoyingly bad dancer called Winston, who tried to latch on to me for the night. Thats the good thing about Salsa, you can Salsa away from people! On another note, why have all the [two] Winston's I've met in my life been annoying? And more importantly, why do people make the rational decision to name their sons Winston?!!?
Winston let slip that Kenny, the Texan, was half American half Nigerian. You should have seen the look on his face. He was embarrased. I asked him which one of his parents was Nigerian? Both, he said, I'm first generation American.
First Generation American. No Generation Nigerian?? Is American the nationality you hide behind when you want to forget your own? When you're embarrased of where you've come from? When you feel that its in your best interests to ignore where your parents came from, to ignore their story, to ignore your roots?? It struck me as strange, and somewhat sad, that he would choose to gladly shout from the rooftops that he's from Houston. That he's from a country who's public policy has resulted in the destruction of countries, lives and races of people. That he's from a city that can claim to be home to the money-hungry vultures that supported and orchestrated the illegal and unnecessary war on Iraq. That he would choose to deny the rich history of his parents land, albeit a history of recent violence, bloodshed and unrest. That he would be content to accept the measly few hundred year history of America, a history that that is both short and not very impressive. That he would choose to pledge allegiance to a country that once forcibly took men from his homeland and used them as slaves. More importantly, that he would be embarrassed to tell people where his parents are from. I'm not saying that Nigeria is better than America, its a matter of opinion, and seeing as I have lived in neither country, it's an opinion I feel I am in no postition to hold.
I don't know about you though, but I'd prefer to say I was from Nigeria.
Anyhow, he introduced me to this annoyingly bad dancer called Winston, who tried to latch on to me for the night. Thats the good thing about Salsa, you can Salsa away from people! On another note, why have all the [two] Winston's I've met in my life been annoying? And more importantly, why do people make the rational decision to name their sons Winston?!!?
Winston let slip that Kenny, the Texan, was half American half Nigerian. You should have seen the look on his face. He was embarrased. I asked him which one of his parents was Nigerian? Both, he said, I'm first generation American.
First Generation American. No Generation Nigerian?? Is American the nationality you hide behind when you want to forget your own? When you're embarrased of where you've come from? When you feel that its in your best interests to ignore where your parents came from, to ignore their story, to ignore your roots?? It struck me as strange, and somewhat sad, that he would choose to gladly shout from the rooftops that he's from Houston. That he's from a country who's public policy has resulted in the destruction of countries, lives and races of people. That he's from a city that can claim to be home to the money-hungry vultures that supported and orchestrated the illegal and unnecessary war on Iraq. That he would choose to deny the rich history of his parents land, albeit a history of recent violence, bloodshed and unrest. That he would be content to accept the measly few hundred year history of America, a history that that is both short and not very impressive. That he would choose to pledge allegiance to a country that once forcibly took men from his homeland and used them as slaves. More importantly, that he would be embarrassed to tell people where his parents are from. I'm not saying that Nigeria is better than America, its a matter of opinion, and seeing as I have lived in neither country, it's an opinion I feel I am in no postition to hold.
I don't know about you though, but I'd prefer to say I was from Nigeria.
Giving MC Hammer A Run For His Money!
Just sitting here thinking how unfair it is that MC Hammer just started a blog this month (click here to see it) and is already getting hundreds of comments. I know, I realise that it's MC Hammer, and it's unbelievably cool that he's blogging! I also realise that because its MC Hammer people will read his blog, tell their friends about it and comment. But it really is so unfair that many other blogs go unnoticed. That others have to work for years, blogging every day, churning out seriously talented material, in order to get to where he's gotten in just over a week. Let's take fafblog for example. There is amazing stuff on this. Genius in fact. And yet, it took them three years to make it to the top of the blogs list on blogspot. Hammer got there in a week! It's not fair, but then again, the last word that can describe life is fair.
It's not fair that the rich seem to be forever getting things for free, when the people who need those things could onlu dream of getting them for nothing. That celebrities, who can afford whatever they want, are always the people being given freebies. That someone would consider taking an influential person for dinner, but would never dream of taking a poor person in need of food for the same dinner.
When guys complain that its not FAIR that they have to pay for everything on dates, they should remember that its not really fair that women have to put up with periods, have to go through 9 months of pregnancy, a painful labour, and not to mention the sleazy stares of most men their entire life. Life isn't fair.
But to be fair to him, Hammer does seem to have a brain. His blog really isn't bad so far. It's a look into his personality, into his thoughts...I just hope its not a publicity stunt for his album which is coming out in a couple of months.
In the meantime, pass on my blog to everyone you know! Let's see if we can give Hammer a run for his money!! And if not, well, at least we've tried.
It's not fair that the rich seem to be forever getting things for free, when the people who need those things could onlu dream of getting them for nothing. That celebrities, who can afford whatever they want, are always the people being given freebies. That someone would consider taking an influential person for dinner, but would never dream of taking a poor person in need of food for the same dinner.
When guys complain that its not FAIR that they have to pay for everything on dates, they should remember that its not really fair that women have to put up with periods, have to go through 9 months of pregnancy, a painful labour, and not to mention the sleazy stares of most men their entire life. Life isn't fair.
But to be fair to him, Hammer does seem to have a brain. His blog really isn't bad so far. It's a look into his personality, into his thoughts...I just hope its not a publicity stunt for his album which is coming out in a couple of months.
In the meantime, pass on my blog to everyone you know! Let's see if we can give Hammer a run for his money!! And if not, well, at least we've tried.
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