Nee How! I Want To Send Fax!

It's a truth universally acknowledged that not many people in China have a need to telephone Ireland. Or maybe they do and I've been kept in the dark...until this morning that is. This morning, I was fortunate enough to be the lucky person to be called from China! About 10 times to be exact actually!
4:30 AM, did I mention it was AM???!!!! My home phone starts ringing. Oh this piercing, shrilling, God-awful sound that awakened me from the depths of my slumber. I answered:

"Nee How, I want to send fax! Can you turn on machine?"
"I'm sorry, but you have the wrong number."
"Long Number?? Oh hee hee, ok."
"Bye"
"Bye!!"

So I thought that was that and I could go back to sleep. Nope..that would just be too easy. It's no fun doing something if you don't do it right you know! Snuggling under the duvet, I was just closing my eyes when the phone rang again!

"Nee How, I want to send fax! Can you turn on machine?"
"This is the same number. Wrong number."
"Oh! Solly! hee hee"
"Ok BYE"
"Bye"

Obviously Miss Nee How didnt believe me when I said it was the wrong number because what followed within the next 20 minutes was a series of, im not joking when i say 5 or 6, 2 ring calls. Her obviously hoping that by typing in the same number over and over it would magically get her through to the right number! No! That's not the way it works!!
I lay awake staring at the ceiling, waiting for the next 5 second ring, and eventually picking up the phone and although there was no-one on the other end explaining: "This is a home phone number. Wrong Number. Do not call it again!"

It must be remembered that prior to the interruptions I was having a wonderful sleep. Dreams filled with good times, and happy times and great things! Well, ok I don't really remember what I was dreaming, but I had been asleep and at 4:30 AM that is the state I most prefer to be in!

Finally the phone rang AGAIN. I picked it up before they had time to cut off. It was a man. Mr. Nee How I'm thinking? And oh the noise in the background! It sounded like a betting office, a greyhound track, a restaurant and an underground black market organ selling den all rolled into one!

"Hello?? HELLO??" (I was getting mad at this point!)
"NEE KEE!!! NO! NAI! NEE KEE! Koni chios rhgoish kos hai haa hoo hee, oh *realising he had made a phone call to the other side of the world* Nee How? Nee How?"
"Yes, HELLO. You have the WRONG number!! WRONG NUMBER! NO! NO FAX."
"Nee How? Nee How? Koni choigh chi ni ho di!"
Apparently he thought I spoke Chinese, I dont know. But I hung up.

Don't worry though. He rang me back! Did you think I'd be lucky enough that he wouldnt?
I couldnt take it anymore!! I just couldnt!! Before he could even say anything, I picked up the phone and just let him have it!

"THIS IS THE WRONG NUMBER! IT IS THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT HERE AND WE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP! SLEEPING! SLEEPING! NO CHINESE HERE! NO FAX! WRONG NUMBER! PLEASE DO NOT CALL THIS NUMBER AGAI.."
He hung up on me!

I didnt take anymore chances though...I unplugged my phones!
I still have his number on my caller ID though... And the temptation to do the same to him when he's asleep is oh so strong!! Nee How anyone?

Still Smiling!

Strikes me as typical that a blazing sunny day would turn to rain the minute I'm too far from home to walk back, in shoes that were NOT meant for the rain! *sigh* It's ok though, I'm still smiling! ;)

A Day In The Life Of......